Martha Stewart's Daughter Tells All In Tweeny Book

Oh, Martha. You've had some bad press lately, and now your own daughter is bashing you. In her new book, out October 18, Alexis Stewart writes, "Martha does everything better! You can't win! If I didn't do something perfectly, I had to do it again... I grew up with a glue gun pointed at my head."

The 46-year-old also complained that there wasn't food in the fridge fit to eat. "There was never anything to eat at my house. Other people had food. I had no food... There were ingredients but no prepared food of any kind."

Alexis also dishes out some of her 70-year-old mother's dating advice, mainly to marry rich but sleep with the handsome. "A woman lived near us when I was little who had married someone very wealthy and very unattractive, and my mother actually told me when I was a small child, 'Now Alexis, if this ever happens, you make sure you have sex with somebody else to have their baby. Don't have his baby."

At least Alexis tried to apologize by prefacing Whateverland with, "Thanks in advance to my mother for not getting angry about anything written in this book." Still, no woman over the age of 40 should use the word "whatever."

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