The 12 Stages Of Eating Thanksgiving Dinner

8:30 a.m.

"Gooooooood morning! The sun is shining, the birds are chirping, and the turkey smells amazing. I think I'll just eat a small granola bar so I can leave room for later."

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10:30 a.m.

"Boy, that parade was neat-o! Only five more hours until dinner! I sure am excited!"

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11:45 a.m.

"Hm, it is still a little early to eat dinner, but I'm hungry. But I want to leave room for all the foods. To lunch or not to lunch?"

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1:12 p.m.

"Uncle Harry is here, it must be time to drink!"

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1:45 p.m.

"I wonder if mom will let me just have a small, teeny, weeny, spoonful of stuffing?"

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1:52 p.m.

"ALRIGHT! I'll get out of the kitchen. Sheesh."

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2:30 p.m.

"I'm literally going to starve if I don't get food in my belly right now.'

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3:23 p.m.

"So weak...can only watch football..."

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4:30 p.m.

"One hour. Must stay strong. Head hurts from wine, Cannot. Go. On. Much. Longer."

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5:30 p.m.

"GIVE ME ALL THE FOODZ!"

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5:42 p.m.

"Oh dear Lord, I cannot eat any more!"

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6:30 p.m.

"Oh hey, pumpkin pie. How you dooooing?"

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