Bloody Marias To The Hangover Rescue

You know how it goes after a night of knocking back champagne cocktails and executing misguided dance moves. You wake up initially uncertain of your surroundings, your head is stuffed with cotton swabs, a whisper is an ungodly din, and your throat is drier than Dorothy Parker's wit: in short, you have a legitimate and tyrannical hangover.

Once you've woken up, chugged an entire bottle of water, passed back out, woken up again, and finally accepted your fate, you're going to have to swing those legs out of bed and experience the outrageously sharp sunlight of New Year's Day, even if it is behind a pair of gigantic shades and a numbing screen of ibuprofen.

New Year's Day is, unsurprisingly, also National Bloody Mary Day, aka "Everyone in the Entire Nation Has a Hangover and Needs to Self-Medicate Day." If you don't live in a city fortunate enough to offer New Year's Day brunch options — or if you're simply too far gone to handle leaving the apartment — you're going to need to prepare your own curative tonic. While the scientific community may debate the validity of a little hair-of-the-dog treatment, let's go with the conventional wisdom on this one: moan as though you're going to die, threaten to keel over with great frequency, and alternate sips of lemon-infused water with taste of a fresh Bloody Mary.

A spicy twist on the Bloody Mary, the Bloody Maria substitutes tequila for the more traditional vodka, and the tomato juice mix should subsequently be geared toward the change — sub out Worcestershire for more garlic and hot sauce — though if you're dealing with a real hangover, we'd recommend using the Tres Agaves Bloody Maria Mix instead of building this one from scratch: their certified organic mix is designed specifically to handle the strong flavor profile of tequila, and it's made of real, pronounceable ingredients — and zero corn syrup. The addition of agave provides a light, not cloying, sweetness, unlike most other mixes' over sugariness, and it has a gentle kick. If you prefer a spicier Maria, throw in some extra dashes of your favorite hot sauce — Cholula is ideal. The Tres Agaves Reposado itself — which we used for our mix — is fresh, balanced, has notes of lime, and is easily sipped on its own.

Try the Tres Bloody Maria.

Garnishes are one of the best parts of a Bloody Mary, and there are all sorts of amazing variations — skewered steamed shrimp, whole Alaskan crab legs, sopressata wrapped around olives, pickled green beans, pickled okra, pickled jalapeño, whole pieces of bacon, and of course the classics: lime and celery.
A Bloody Maria pairs perfectly with either huevos rancheros or simply a blank, hungover stare.