"Bloodthirsty" Groupon Blamed For Waffle Shop's Demise

There's nothing more depressing than seeing a humble waffle shop succumb to The Man.

This was exactly the fate of three-month-old waffelry Back Alley Waffles in Washington, D.C., which had to close its doors indefinitely thanks to the "bloodthirsty business practices...of an obscenity known as 'Groupon.'"

Apparently, Craig Nelson, the owner and artist (who resides in a studio upstairs at the shop's alley location), was duped by Groupon when he signed on for a two-for-one deal and expected to receive payments immediately. Instead, he learned "the business has to wait for most of the remainder of its money until two months after laying out the cost of the food and labor. And for some of the money, it will be three months after honoring the customer's Groupon coupon in the shop before the business is paid for that customer." Whoops.  

Groupon insists "the math does not point to Groupon as a cause" for the shop's shuttering. 

The shop's demise seems to have been slow and torturous, with Yelp reviews revealing the shop's tendency to run out of waffles in the months leading up to its untimely end.

In an attempt to stay afloat, Back Alley Waffles is now offering a $450 package including a fluffy 7" Belgian waffle, a handmade, customized mosaic, and materials with which to make your own mosaic. And it's appointment only. Waffles and art, joining up to fight the greedy corporations —
somehow this makes so much sense.

At the very least, Back Alley Waffles can rest assured that Groupon itself isn't doing so well. On July 11, its stock price hit a record low, and the financial road ahead should prove to be a bit rocky as well.