What You Need To Ask (And Tell) A Restaurant Before Dining With A Crowd

If you plan to host a large party, a restaurant can save you the effort of providing drinks and eats for a crowd. But how smoothly it goes comes down to planning and communication. And it all starts with a meeting.

Instead of making a reservation and hoping for the best, contact the manager between 2 p.m. and 4 p.m., when most restaurants slow down, and hash out all the details. Better yet, go in — there's nothing like a captive audience.

There's a lot to discuss, so take copious notes about the seating arrangements, food and beverage details, and any extras they promise you, such as a birthday cake. Then, make sure you confirm the details during the meeting and then again a few days before the big event, including the answers to all the questions you asked the restaurant and all the info you gave them to ensure your party goes off without a hitch.

Party planning at a restaurant starts with seeing the space where they plan to put your table. You don't want to end up outside if someone has allergies or have to take stairs if older guests might have difficulty. Adam Perhosky, director of sales and events at American Social Bar & Kitchen, also says, "This can help ensure that the setting matches the needs and preferences of your group." And if the reservation is for a celebration or special event, Perhosky advises asking about special offers or services, such as decorations or desserts. 

You also need to ask questions about food that go beyond the regular menu. Inquiring about accommodations for food allergies or special diets is a must, but Nikesha Tannehill Tyson, certified etiquette consultant and senior etiquette trainer at The Swann School of Protocol, has another handy tip. She notes, "Some restaurants may have special menus or packages for large groups that can simplify ordering and billing. Asking about these options can help streamline the dining experience and may also provide cost savings."  

Tyson also recommends asking about cancellations or changes. Some restaurants may require deposits, and you need to know in advance how much it could cost you if you back out or change the date.

In addition to obvious info like when and how many, the restaurant needs to know if you need any special accommodations, such as braille menus or wheelchair access and the number of children who need high chairs or carrier slings. You should also give them a heads up on the purpose of the gathering and whether you want to bring in outside extras, like a large box for gifts, a celebration cake, or audio-visual equipment. The restaurant may have rules about those, especially outside food, or may be able to provide them for you, taking one more thing off your plate.

Finally, both Nikesha Tannehill Tyson and Adam Perhosky advise telling them how you'd like to pay and who will pay the dinner bill. Some restaurants have special rules surrounding payment for large parties, such as requiring a single check or adding a gratuity. Letting them know your preference upfront can help get you out of the restaurant and on to your final celebration a lot faster.