Burger King Had No Right To Discontinue Its Funnel Cake Fries

In many ways, 2019 was the best year we didn't know we were having. We were learning about tidying up with Marie Kondo, COVID-19 didn't exist yet, and Burger King had just re-launched possibly the greatest fast-food dessert item ever: funnel cake fries. Originally offered for a few glorious weeks in 2009, the King resurrected this tasty treat 10 years later.

If you missed out on these little tastes of paradise, funnel cake fries were a deconstructed version of the classic treat you get at carnivals. Unlike actual state fair funnel cake, which tends to fall apart and dump toppings on your shirt, the BK funnel cake fries were perfect for eating on the go, causing only low-level sugar spills at worst. At their best, they were nuclear hot, straight from the fryer, and attractively, not cloyingly sweet. They came nine to a box, which never felt like quite enough.

Alas, the funnel cake fries are long gone, leaving us sad and, honestly, a little cranky. The "limited time offering" lasted for, well, a limited time. They haven't returned. Now, the funnel cake fries are just another Burger King menu item you've probably forgotten about. The biggest indignity about BK's choice to discontinue the funnel cake fries is that nobody seems to know why they were nixed from menus.

There's nothing as heartbreaking as a love affair ending, except one ending with no closure. Such is the pathetic state of funnel fry fans' emotions in the wake of their discontinuation. There was no official word from Burger King on why the dessert fell off menus, and unfortunately, searching the internet yields no definitive answers.

Hope seemed to glimmer briefly in 2023, when fried chicken chain KFC announced it would be rolling out its own version of funnel cake fries. Unfortunately, the KFC fries were confined to Midwest test markets, with no plans for a nationwide release. There have also been apparent sightings of funnel cake fries at Del Taco and Checkers, but the reports were spotty regarding availability and quality. It seems no one was able to pick up the torch successfully after Burger King squashed our funnel cake fry dreams.

The funnel cake fries aren't the only discontinued fast-food dessert that's gone with the wind. They join a long line of drive-through favorites that have ascended to the big cardboard carton in the sky. In 2024 alone, we lost Coconut Refreshers from Dunkin', Wendy's Loaded Nacho Cheeseburger, and Taco Bell's Chipotle Ranch Grilled Chicken Burrito.

Restaurants discontinue menu items for a number of reasons, and none of them are meant to personally wound us. Sometimes the item takes too long for workers to prepare or is prone to frequent screw-ups. Other times, ingredient prices spike, making the item unprofitable. It could be due to a similar food product being swapped on the menu, or simply that few people besides you enjoy it, and it doesn't sell well. Losses like the Burger King funnel cake fries may hurt, but the good news is that, in the world of fast food, there will always be something new and delicious to distract you before too long.