The Vodka Brand You're Better Off Skipping

Vodka is the most valuable spirit in America, yet confusion runs rampant on what qualifies as a "good" vodka brand. To make it crystal clear — get the joke? — a high-quality vodka is neutral yet highly versatile. It tastes equally good for sipping versus mixing, has a clean flavor that won't muddy cocktails, and goes down smooth without the infamous "burn."

NPR ran a taste test and concluded that there is no appreciable difference between cheap and expensive vodka, probably due to a federal law requiring all vodka to be tasteless, colorless, and odorless. It's been debated that, beyond a basic price point, "luxury" vodka is overpriced. But there's one budget vodka that just doesn't go the distance.

While Svedka's pricing is competitive, reviewers agree that it burns going down and will leave you with a hangover you won't soon forget. Opinions on taste are seriously conflicted as well. The verdict? You should leave this brand on the shelf and choose something else.

According to Daily Meal's ultimate ranking of vodka brands by versatility, Svedka comes in dead last. But don't take our word for it; listen to your fellow internet denizens. Searching for "negative reviews of Svedka vodka" returned a wealth of links, and some common threads emerged.

Visitors on Vodkaphiles were neither overwhelmingly positive nor aggressively negative on the topic of Svedka, but more than a few comments complained of a taste like rubbing alcohol. A review on Slower Pulse dubbed the brand "underwhelming." When sorted by lowest rankings, the commenters on Distiller griped that Svedka burned, was harsh, and left them with headaches. Similar criticisms have popped up on Reddit, where replies to those in defense of the brand claim, "It is honestly, truly terrible in every way that vodka can possibly be assessed," others say it "tastes like nail polish remover smells."

Overall, the choice words related to Svedka seem to revolve around claims of an astringent taste, a formulation that burned going down the throat, and after-effects that ranged from bad hangovers at best to nauseated crashes at worst. Even though the brand comes in a dizzying wealth of flavors, it doesn't seem to make the quality any better. One Redditor called cucumber lime Svedka "the worst flavor vodka ... ever." Yikes. 

That lousy vodka leads to an unpleasant drinking experience is not just in your head. There's science behind why certain varieties burn and give you a headache. The answer is in the distillation process.

The more thoroughly vodka is distilled, the more impurities are removed from the spirit. These impurities are to blame for the unpleasant heat going down, as they aggravate the sensitive lining of the throat. Remnants from insufficient distillation are also a theory for why low-budget vodka also causes awful hangovers. After fermentation, chemicals called congeners are left behind, which can also be filtered out by more careful distillation. These congeners, like aldehydes and esters, trigger stress hormones and inflammatory responses by the body. In layman's terms, you're left feeling rough. 

Not all inexpensive vodkas contain impurities, and not all pricey vodkas have been expertly distilled. However, it's a general rule of thumb that skimping on distillation is a cost-cutting measure, so cheaper vodkas are more prone to adverse effects. The best practice is to choose carefully when picking a vodka. If you get caught with a cheap vodka and want to improve it, storing it in the freezer can help it go down a bit easier.