We Tasted And Ranked 13 Store-Bought Eggnogs

For many, nothing says the holiday season like a cold glass of eggnog. There are lots of recipes out there if you want to try your hand at some homemade eggnog for your holiday party, but if you're tight on time or would rather not go to the trouble of making it yourself, there's no shortage of store-bought nog varieties to satisfy every craving. Whether you need something vegan, lactose-free, or just plain delicious, the number of brands can be intimidating. Fear not! You don't need to go out and buy a whole assortment of eggnog varieties to find your favorite because we've done the work for you. We tasted 13 different store-bought eggnog varieties to determine which ones you should try and which you should leave on the grocery store shelf. 

Every eggnog was sampled in the same glass, which was briefly cooled under cold water after washing to make for the same crisp, cool eggnog experience. Sampling focused on each eggnog's unique characteristics, including smell, color, flavor, and mouthfeel. Later, every eggnog was tasted a second time in a head-to-head tasting to help narrow down the final ranking, which we present now without further ado.

Some recommendations are based on first-hand impressions of promotional materials and products provided by the manufacturer/distributor/etc.

There are a lot of reasons one might want to drink a coconut milk nog instead of a traditional eggnog, such as a vegan lifestyle or an allergy to dairy or eggs, and there are several brands available to make that easy. Unfortunately, not all alternative milk eggnogs are created equal and the lowest-scoring nog on our list is So Delicious Coconutmilk Holiday Nog. 

While this nog smells really nice out of the carton, complete with all the spices you expect from a holiday nog, its bland tan color isn't particularly appealing, and all those festive spices get lost in this brand's cloying sweetness. We're normally big fans of all things coconut, so it wasn't the coconut milk itself that was a problem, but the combination of the coconut milk, the gums used to help thicken the nog (both guar and xanthan gum), and whatever "natural flavors" were added. It leaves an aftertaste that's best described as offensive and just doesn't do the characteristic nutmeg any favors. 

Another vegan option, Califia Farms Holiday Nog, made with almond milk, landed in the 12th spot on our list. While this particular nog has a few things going for it, like a better color than some of the alternative milk nogs and a nice nutmeg aroma, the flavor (while good overall) is just a little off. 

Likely owing to either the "dash of ginger" the brand touts or the fruit and vegetable juices used for color in place of eggs, this holiday nog has an almost herbaceous undertone that, while not altogether unpleasant up front, makes for a chemical-like aftertaste. It's also thin but slimy all at once, likely due to the guar and gellan gums used as thickeners. While it's possible this nog could be improved with a bit of zhuzhing up, that kind of defeats the purpose of using a store-bought nog in the first place, doesn't it?

Despite ranking number 11 on our list of store-bought eggnogs, MALK Holiday Nog is delicious. You might be justifiably wondering why it ranks so low, especially considering its appearance was better than the other dairy alternatives (still a bit tan, but notably less brown). The problem with MALK Holiday Nog is that it tastes and feels like maple syrup-sweetened almond milk. It has no scent at all (to the point that we broke out a scented candle to make sure we weren't experiencing a loss of sense of smell) and virtually none of the characteristic nutmeg you'd expect from a holiday nog, perhaps because MALK uses nutmeg extract rather than nutmeg in its nog ingredients. 

It has a thin consistency — a result of the absence of any gums or thickeners — and with just five ingredients (water, almonds, maple syrup, the aforementioned nutmeg extract, and Himalayan pink salt), the flavor is bland compared to what we expect from eggnog. That said, it might just be our new favorite almond milk. Unfortunately, almond milk isn't what we're ranking here. 

Coming in at number 10 on our list is the first so-called traditional eggnog of the bunch, Hood Golden Eggnog. This eggnog has the nice pale yellow color we expect from eggnog, which is normally colored in part by egg yolks. It also has a nice creamy consistency but isn't particularly thick and doesn't have an aftertaste. Unfortunately, we couldn't smell any spices in this eggnog, or see any evidence of nutmeg. Nutmeg isn't even listed as one of the ingredients for this eggnog — only the very vague "natural and artificial flavors" and "spice" are included. 

That lack of nutmeg, paired with an abundance of sweetness, makes Hood Golden Eggnog taste exactly like melted vanilla ice cream. It certainly tastes good if you're someone who likes vanilla ice cream, but doesn't taste like what we expect from eggnog — and we weren't able to have more than a few sips before the overwhelming sweetness became too much. 

Ranking the highest of the alternative milk eggnogs, Almond Breeze Almondmilk Nog has some of the same pitfalls as the other alternative milk nogs, like a strong almond flavor, bland tan color, thin consistency, and an aroma that's barely different from their regular almond milk. Still, despite an overall boring flavor that's not really what we'd call festive, it inches ahead to number 9 thanks to its balanced sweetness that is neither cloying nor overtaken by the other spices and flavorings. 

While it also contains gellan and guar gum as thickeners and fruit and vegetable juices for color, things that spelled disaster for some of the other nogs, the addition of rice starch seemingly helps to even things out. While nutmeg isn't a listed ingredient (only "spice" again), there are some specks that at least give the illusion of the festive and pungent spice, though it's feasible they're actually from the skin of almonds. Regardless, this nog would be great as the base for a holiday smoothie.

Trader Joe's Light Egg Nog has what we would call a traditional eggnog smell with plenty of warm holiday spices. Those spices are also visible as specks in the nog, but unfortunately, that's where the positive notes about its appearance end. This nog is very yellow, to the point we double and triple-checked the expiration date to make sure it wasn't a sign of nog-gone-bad before we tasted it. Luckily, for our stomachs, it seems the eggnog really is just that color. As far as consistency goes, this nog is quite a bit thinner than its full-fat counterparts, which is expected given fat-free milk as its first ingredient. 

What we find most surprising, however, is that there doesn't appear to be anything in the ingredients that accounts for the yellow color or the somewhat earthy flavor of this nog. While the earthy spice turmeric is an ingredient, along with annatto extract (for color), both of those ingredients also appear in the regular version of Trader Joe's Egg Nog, which does not have the characteristic color or flavor of the light nog. We can only assume that either the proportion of ingredients differs or that the fat in the regular nog is a better match for the ingredients than fat-free milk.  

After discovering that Hood Golden Eggnog tastes like melted vanilla ice cream, we expected even more of the same from Hood Vanilla Eggnog but were pleasantly surprised. Amazingly, while this nog certainly has lots of vanilla flavor, it somehow tastes less like melted vanilla ice cream than Hood Golden Eggnog. It's very pale in color — to the point it almost looks like very thick milk or heavy cream — and has no visible spices or discernible spice flavor. 

That said, the sweetness of this nog is not overwhelming, despite containing both sugar and high fructose corn syrup, it has no strange aftertaste or weird texture and is incredibly easy to drink. It lands at number 7 on our ranking simply because it's a great option for people who don't really love the intense flavor of eggnog but who want to partake in all the holiday cheer it signifies. Plus it would be amazing to use in your eggnog baked goods. 

Out of the container, PET Eggnog looks and smells exactly like what we would expect from eggnog. It is pretty thick, pale yellow, and has visible flakes of nutmeg and other spices. Upon first taste, it also has the flavor we expect from eggnog and is creamy without leaving behind any weird residual sliminess that can sometimes happen with eggnog. It does, however, have a bit of an unpleasant aftertaste and, when consumed in large gulps, produces a bit of a burning sensation rather than being refreshing. 

We suspect this burning sensation may be the result of high fructose corn syrup being the only sweetener in this nog, whereas other nogs on our list that include it as an ingredient also contain other sweeteners like sugar and regular corn syrup to balance the sweetness. Still, PET Eggnog is a solid choice that checks many of the boxes for holiday nog, earning it the 6th highest ranking.

The highest ranking of all the light eggnogs, Hood Light Eggnog earned the number 5 spot overall in our list, also outranking both other varieties of Hood Egg Nog. While some of the vanilla ice cream flavor of Hood Golden Eggnog is also present in the light eggnog, there is more variety and depth to the flavor of the light version, though the characteristic nutmeg we expect from eggnog is lighthanded. 

We couldn't discern any visible spice specks, but it is a paler shade of yellow (and therefore less offputting) than the Trader Joe's Light Egg Nog. It also has a nice body that's thicker and creamier than the Trader Joe's light offering, likely due to the fact that it contains both regular and nonfat milk, whereas Trader Joe's Light Egg Nog contains only fat-free milk. If a well-rounded light eggnog is specifically what you're after for the holiday season, Hood Light Eggnog is it.

Southern Comfort Traditional Egg Nog comes out of the carton pretty unassuming. Unlike its pale yellow counterparts, this nog has more of a cream color, which makes sense given that its second ingredient is cream (after only milk). Its smell is what we would call delicate, with no strong scent of spices, though the flavor of nutmeg is present (if light) and there are some visible specks of spices. This nog's consistency is thick but not slimy and is the sort of drink that gives your glass some heft. 

What makes this eggnog rank so highly on our list is how approachable and drinkable it is. Great for a holiday party, this nog has the flavors we expect from eggnog, but no part of it is overpowering — it is a bit sweeter than a few of the other lower-ranking eggnogs, but the sweetness feels balanced overall. Unsurprisingly, based on the brand alone, this eggnog would probably make for a terrific spiked eggnog cocktail.

Just barely edging out Southern Comfort Traditional Egg Nog is the brand's vanilla spice-flavored egg nog. Much like its traditional counterpart, Southern Comfort Vanilla Spice Egg Nog has a lighter color than many of the other eggnog varieties, coming in at a very pale yellow that's perhaps even more of an off-white shade. It is thick and creamy, with no strange mouthfeel or aftertaste and, while the vanilla spice flavor is present, it isn't the most prominent flavor despite this drink's name. While this variety is very sweet, it contains more discernible nutmeg and other spices than Southern Comfort Traditional Egg Nog, lending a more festive flavor and balancing the sweetness to maintain its easy-to-drink nature. 

Like Southern Comfort Traditional Egg Nog, the vanilla spice variety would mix well with whisky or rum if that's your preferred way to imbibe during the holidays. In fact, the extra sweetness will likely go a long way in masking any harshness you might otherwise taste from the liquor. 

In a surprise outcome, the second-best eggnog on our list is the lactose-free Lactaid Eggnog. Importantly, lactose-free is not the same thing as dairy-free; this eggnog option contains milk, so is not appropriate for vegans or people with a dairy allergy, but has the inclusion of the lactase enzyme that helps to break down lactose in milk making it easier for people who are lactose intolerant to absorb. What this means is that nothing else about the eggnog required alteration to make it lactose-free. In fact, its first five ingredients are milk, sugar, cream, egg yolks, and fat-free milk. It also doesn't contain any corn syrup (high fructose or otherwise). 

This eggnog is creamy with no burn or aftertaste. It has a nice pale yellow color thanks to both the egg yolks and a bit of yellow food dye along with some nice dark specks of spices. The flavor isn't overwhelmingly nutmeg-forward, but it's certainly more complex than a straight vanilla flavor. Overall it's a really solid option whether you have a problem digesting lactose or not. 

Earning the coveted top spot on our ranking of eggnog varieties is Trader Joe's Egg Nog. This delicious nog is the color of lemon chiffon and is creamy without being too thick. It has visible specks of its spices and smells almost as decadent as it tastes. What really sets Trader Joe's Egg Nog apart from the competition is the combination of spices, including a healthy dose of nutmeg and vanilla, a bit of cinnamon, and what may even be a sprinkle of ginger. 

The flavor combination is exactly what we want and expect from a holiday egg nog and doesn't produce a burning sensation or have any sort of aftertaste. While it does contain some stabilizers in the form of guar gum, carrageenan, and locust bean gum, it tastes what we can only describe as homemade. This is the drink you want to buy if you're looking for all the great flavor of egg nog made from scratch without all the work. Your holiday guests will thank you.