The Saucy Reason UK Subway's 'Nachos' Should Be Avoided At All Costs

We all remember the day when Subway got rid of the $5 footlong. As one of the best deals (and resulting jingles) within the sandwich industry, Subway's 12-inch sub was the ideal solution that kept many families fed and satisfied over its four-year-long lifespan. But when it disappeared, so did our hopes of ever achieving another footlong at such a low price. And then the tuna scandal hit.

Amid Subway's bout of court-related drama — including a footlong sub that wasn't actually a footlong, and bread that wasn't really constituted as "bread" — a lawsuit was filed against the chain for false advertisement regarding its seafood, via NPR. The claim insisted that Subway's tuna was not, in fact, 100% tuna. Upon hearing this, The New York Times sent in samples from local Subway stores to see if any skipjack or yellowfin tuna could be detected. The results came back inconclusive.

But alas, another Subway tragedy has occurred, and this time it's pretty unforgivable. Doritos have seemingly wiggled their way into any popular chain's menu. Whether sold as a side, a sauce, or creatively incorporated into the product (like Taco Bell's Doritos Locos Tacos), the beloved chip has become intertwined with the fast-food industry. It has even helped introduce different cuisines into otherwise traditional American fast-food restaurants, like Burger King's Doritos Loaded nacho cheese curds. However, just because it can be integrated doesn't mean it should. Unfortunately, U.K. Subways did not adhere to this motto and released their Doritos nachos.

During an episode of Insider Food's "Food Wars," hosts Harry Kersh and Joe Avella compared Subway's menu items between the U.K. and the U.S. As would be expected, there were a handful of differences. Unfortunately, the "Doritos Lightly Salted Nachos" caught everyone's attention — and not in a good way. 

Subway describes these nachos as a combination of Doritos tortilla chips, cheese, jalapeños, and salsa. While this may sound somewhat enticing, what appeared on camera was anything but. Instead, Kersh showcased his salsa-smeared box of soggy nachos. Chunky red salsa completely drowned one side while slightly melted cheese was sprinkled on the other. A few sad slices of jalapeños were added to mask the lackluster chips. It's safe to say neither judge (nor the audience) was impressed; these nachos were even listed as a fast-food item you should never order in the U.K. (via Insider). 

"That is an insult to nachos," Avella stated in the video. "Those are the kind of nachos you make in your 20s when you're drunk at 2 in the morning... That is the most depressing plate of nachos I've ever seen." Other U.K. Subway items like "Pig in Blanket Pot" and "Cheesy Bites" didn't seem as disappointing for Reddit fans, who even suggested the chain bring them to the States. But as much as we understand Subway's adoration for cheap Tex-Mex foods, it's probably best they just stick to subs. 

Luckily, homemade nachos are an easy snack to make and don't require a list of ingredients. And if you play your cards right (like @cooklikeimbook on TikTok), nachos can even be a relatively high-protein and nutritious meal.

No tortilla chips? No problem. Simply Recipes suggests using a sharp knife to divide a stack of corn tortillas into six equal parts. Then, heat some oil in a pan and gently place the triangles in. Once they are done, remove the golden chips, allow them to dry on the rack, and add a dash of salt. These chips can also be cooked in an air fryer at 350 degrees for seven minutes (via Yellow Bliss Road).

Next, cook your seasoned protein of choice and place it on top. If you favor fajita veggies a little more, A Couple Cooks suggests slicing up some peppers, mushrooms, and onion before seasoning them and cooking over medium heat. Then add raw onions, black beans, tomatoes, and cilantro to the top.

Lastly, add your melted cheese. While there is some debate over the best type of cheese for nachos, few would argue that semi-hard cheeses, like Monterey Jack, Gouda, or pepper jack cheese, often work well for nachos. Alternatively, if you have freshly shredded cheddar on hand, this standard cheese can blanket your chips without fear of drowning them underneath. You can even make your own queso by adding a few chiles and some cream to your cheese before layering it on, per The Pioneer Woman.