Most Unfortunate Fortune Cookie Fortunes Ever (Slideshow)

Wait, wait, wait. We never agreed to this! This fortune cookie is putting words in our mouths.

Clearly this fortune doesn't expect to achieve anything worthwhile in its life. We hope whoever got this fortune didn't follow its advice because it's lousy.

Really? You're just going to pass the buck like that? Fine, fortune, we don't need you anyway.

Sorry, but last time we checked cookies in fact do not need their sleep. You're just being lazy.

We feel a bit empty after reading this one. Seriously, what is a fortune cookie without a fortune? It's too depressing to think about.

We suppose this could be a good fortune if the previous fortune was bad, but what if it was awesome? Either way, other fortunes won't appreciate this one cramping their style.

Um, were you going to finish that sentence? What exactly are we supposed to take out of this? Please enlighten us, fortune. After all, that is your job, isn't it?

If we didn't know any better, we could've sworn we were reading the inside of a Snapple cap. Also, pigeon poop is no kind of topic to bring up at dinner.

What does this even mean? Are you trying to be deep? Because you're failing. Go home, fortune. You're drunk.

This fortune is trying to coerce us into spending more money, and we won't have it! This is really just too much.

As if creepy pick-up lines weren't bad enough from weirdos at the bar, now we have to suffer them from our fortune cookies too? What is the world coming to?