Hit Me With Your Worst Shot Slideshow

Imagine dredging up a dark, syrupy elixir from the deepest recesses of your medicine cabinet and mixing it with a spoonful of sugar and herbs collected from the forest floor. I once spent an entire night drinking Zwack. The hangover lingered for days.

When cream goes bad, it's typically not advised to shove it into your mouth. Not so with the Cement Mixer. Take a shot of Bailey's Irish Cream, hold it in your mouth, then sip some lime juice. The concoction instantly curdles, becoming disconcertingly thick.

Sipping this high-test Chinese spirit is not unlike swallowing unleaded gasoline. Distilled from sorghum, wheat, or rice, the grain liquor's proof often tops 140. The Red Star Er guo tou brand is as rough as backwoods moonshine, while Moutai tastes a little bit like soy sauce. Bottoms up!

At bars like Brooklyn's Bushwick Country Club and San Francisco's Elixir bartenders have begun serving brown spirits with a chaser of pickle juice. Some believe the salty brine complements the bourbon's oaky char. I believe that the combination is best swirled down a drain.

Deep in Canada's Yukon Territory, in gold-rushing Dawson City, the Sourdough Saloon serves one of mankind's most putrid shots. The Sourtoe Cocktail is made with Yukon Jack whiskey and a salt-cured human toe plopped into the glass like an olive. Let the toe touch your lips, but for the love of hygiene — and cannibalism — don't swallow.

Wannabe Sly Stallones, take note: To create the Prairie Oyster, top a raw egg with a few dashes of Tabasco, Worcestershire sauce, and a salt-and-pepper sprinkle. Add a shot of bourbon to create a slimy, warming inebriant.

Color me confused. Over the last few years, San Franciscans and intrepid mixologists have gone crazy for this Italian digestif. To me, it's a bit like drinking the dark, bitter tears of a widowed grandparent.

There's nothing wise about ordering this bad-idea blend of Jack Daniel's, Jim Beam, and Jose Cuervo. It's a quick trip to Tennessee, Kentucky, and Mexico — with an unavoidable detour to the toilet.

Bacon may pair wonderfully with chocolate, beer, and even ice cream, but I must draw the line at bacon booze. Served straight up, the meat-and-potatoes (vodka) blend tastes a bit like liquefied Bac-Os. (To be fair, Bakon Vodka does make a curiously decent bloody mary.)

I love a nice, spicy Bloody Mary. It's an excellent eye-opener, a nerve-calming tonic after a long night of drinking. The Bloody Tampon is a bit like a Mary (tomato juice, vodka), but then there's a rolled-up napkin inserted into cocktail. And you suck the napkin dry. You get the picture, though you don't want to.