5 Brand New Coffee Drinks You Need To Know About Right Now

Coffee is, for most of us, an essential part of life. We grope for the coffee maker before our eyes are even open in the morning. We empty the office coffee pot three or four times a day. We spend so much time at Starbucks that the baristas write our names on three dozen cups first thing Monday morning just to get ready for the week — and the first words of Italian we ever learned were "grande" and "venti."

Of course, there's a lot more to coffee than just, you know, coffee, so instead of merely reaching for a cup of java, as an earlier generation might have done, we order something special: a cold press, a pour-over, an Americano, a macchiato, a red eye, a flat white, not to mention a Depth Charge, a Dunkaccino, a McCafé Caramel Mocha, an Iced Cinnamon Dolce Soy Half-Caf Latte with a cherry on top.

But doesn't it seem like we've been ordering the same old things forever? Isn't it time for a few new coffee drinks? We think so, so the highly caffeinated editorial team at The Daily Meal has created five brand-new coffee drinks that we predict every coffee-hound in America will soon be clamoring for.

Soy Lattery

A cup of regular coffee into which is stirred a white liquid that might be soy milk. On the other hand, it might be almond milk, rice milk, camel milk, Maalox — you never know, so take a chance.

Red Ay Ay Ay

A cup of regular coffee with a shot of espresso and a tablespoon of sriracha stirred in.

Mock-iato

Similar to a macchiato, but instead of using foamed milk to draw abstract patterns or pictures of cute little kitties on top of the coffee foam, the barista artfully inscribes insulting sentences — for instance, "Is that a beard or do you have a ferret on your chin?" or "Nice dress; did your mom make that for you?"

Fat White

A small espresso topped with foamed lard.

Café con Lechery

Just a normal cup of coffee, but the barista tries to look down your blouse when you reach for the cup.