Cotton Candy

Or candy floss! Or fairy floss! Or Papa’s beard! Personally, I prefer “candy floss,” the British appellation, because it conjures a host of potential nightmares for dental technicians; while I have the utmost respect for those lovely people, there’s the evil gnome in me that would love to see “candy floss” in the dental hygiene aisle just to vex them. “Fairy floss” is a perfectly scrumptious name, and it pleases me immeasurably to think of burly, stubbly Aussie blokes ordering up “fairy floss” for their sweet little children. And speaking of stubble, who in the hell thought it was a good idea to call something you wrap on a stick and eat “Papa’s beard”? Regardless of what other people call it, it’s heaven on earth. Just not to a dentist.